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  Self esteem

Self esteem is not a thing: Whilst the term 'self esteem' is widely used, it is not a quantifiable thing that can be weighed out and given to people. Rather it's part of a process. There are appropriate and useful levels of self esteem associated with any activity, whether it is socialising, professional work or sport or skill or emotional life.

People mean very different things when they talk about self esteem. Most (though not all) people consulting a therapist over these issues have in mind feelings of low self worth and lack of confidence. These can have various sources, which may (or may not) include:

  • traumatic past experiences
  • faulty learning and teaching
  • social skills that need to be developed
  • essential human needs unmet (for example role and status, attention needs, intimacy etc.)
  • difficulities of life-style and working
  • a range of other associated concerns.
Effective therapy for self esteem concerns
  • will make clear definitions and weigh what skills need to be developed
  • will teach new thinking and emotional skills
  • will show clients how to relax deeply and use imaginative rehearsal
  • will de-condition troublesome past experiences
  • will not encourage introspection and self doubt
  • will show clients how to meet needs
  • will effectively coach clients in new patterns
  • will develop personally tailored strategies the client can can go on using through life

Consultations are entirely confidential and you are free to tell as much as you wish to relating to background to the problem, though there is no insistence on telling all as in some forms of therapy. The therapist will take full and proper account of your experiences, though will be concerned to work towards the solutions you find acceptable, rather than dwelling on the problem.

The therapist will seek to draw on often-unsuspected positive learnings you already have and will incidentally teach various useful relaxation and stress-management techniques that enable you to act more effectively. Therapy is always tailored to suit individuals and procedures are by no means standardized. They draw on effective best practice available.

A key feature of therapy at the centre is that it is as relaxed and enjoyable as possible, a fact that is frequently remarked upon by clients.

 
How many sessions will I need?

Some people may accomplish what they want to achieve in 2 to 3 sessions. Others dealing with multiple issues may want to take a series of three to five sessions initially. We do not commit clients to extensive courses of treatment unnecessarily and it is our policy to end therapy when goals have been reached, though the therapist is usually available for 'booster' sessions as and if necessary.

You'll be encouraged to notice positive effects from the outset. Developments will hence soon become very obvious and clear.

 

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